only if we run a train.
done.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize