I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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