this beer tastes like vomit already
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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