You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
