4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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