My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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