im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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