No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
