Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
