To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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