I met the friendliest cop last night
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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