it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
