Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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