ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
