Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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