I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
