I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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