Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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