whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
