it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
