i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
