Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
