Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm really busy with my period
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