the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
