and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
