she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
