took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We had sex on a dog bed..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
