i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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