We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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