like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
