So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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