I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
