OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
