Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
