I'm lost and stupid without you.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
