I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
