Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
