We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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