Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
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Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
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I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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