i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
