bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
