just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
