The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
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Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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