Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
3 2 1 whiskey
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
