Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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