After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
