the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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