weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
