Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
