I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
