Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
